There Can Be Joy in the Ordinary
This article was originally written on August 6, 2015. It was edited and updated on August 20, 2020.
It was brought to my attention the need for more than the mundane had become a battle for me. I became aware of this part of myself as I watched my 8-year-old in her lunchtime struggle. Girlfriend desired and still does desire inspiring lunch options. Her lunch issue caused me to look inward; I, too, struggle with the need for excitement to make life more thrilling and worthy.
“Live simply. Dream big. Be grateful. Give love. Laugh lots.”
Lunchtime Dilemma
Lunchtime preparation is a struggle for one of my daughters. Granted she is only eight so some struggle should be expected. When I delegated lunch to my girls, about a year ago, it was because of the need to remove some work from my plate, while also giving them more agency and responsibility for caring for themselves. My childhood experiences have always loomed in the backdrop, so leading my children to independence has always been a guiding factor in my parenting. But, I had no idea that handing off the reins of lunch would be a source of contention for my girl.
Let me clear, the issue she has is not the preparation of lunch itself, but determining what she should eat for lunch. When I quit being the cafeteria lady, I did not give them guidelines or restrictions. They could eat whatever we have available in our refrigerator, cabinets, or pantry. My only concern was for them to eat lunch. My daughter and I hit a wall. She complained about being hungry and not knowing what to prepare, and I grew frustrated with dealing with this dilemma each day. I made a decision—peanut butter and jelly lunches for all unless I chose to prepare lunch.
Please do not read this as a knock to peanut butter and jelly. My other daughter loves peanut butter and jelly and so do I when my stomach can handle the peanut butter.
Lessons Inspired By Peanut Butter + Jelly
When I made the decision for my daughters to have peanut butter and jelly as their standard lunch, I had no idea I would learn a lesson or two in the process. It is pretty cool how the simple moments in life can serve as a lesson if we allow them to.
Everyday does not is not designed to be fascinating. There is something in our culture that tells us each moment that we live must be grand or it is not worthy of being recorded. This lie steals from us precious memories and time. It becomes easy to become hyper-aware of what is not happening in our lives instead of enjoying what is happening even if the moment is considered regular and ordinary.
Ordinary days are precious. If we choose, we can look at our ordinary days as fascinating. Yeah, I know I said every day is not designed to be fascinating, but we can choose what fascinating is to us. There can be a wonder in watching your child prepare lunch for 100th time. I know I look at my daughters’ little hands in awe as they do simple activities like write or play with the dog. The rhythm of the ordinary day can also serve as a gift when life throws curve balls too. Let us not discount them because of their familiarity.
Extraordinary days are gifts. I appreciate the unexpectedness that an extraordinary day can bring. As I think about extraordinary days, they are made of a bunch of ordinary moments. It is the ordinary moments compiled that make the extraordinary day so special. My daughters no longer have birthday parties. My younger daughter had her last birthday party at six. Instead, we do things that each girl enjoys on her birthday. A party can be memorable because it is an event, but each activity we do in honor of our daughters is also memorable which makes for a special day or moment.
We must eagerly seek contentment. We are not content by nature. It is a skill we must practice. When I started homeschooling, I knew it was a challenge I wanted to take on because it would allow me to do and be someone I had not seen in my formative years. Even though I felt it in my bones to home educate my daughters, I still struggled. I struggled with wondering if I made the right choice because it was lonely. I struggled with my belief in myself because I thought choosing to homeschool meant I did not believe in myself to pursue education as a profession. If I could speak to who I was at the beginning of our homeschool journey, I would tell her to not allow the unknown to disturb your peace in knowing your decision for your family is right. You will reap more than you can expect because of your faithfulness. If you are struggling with contentment today, I encourage you to slowly cultivate it in your life. The first step you can take is removing anything that causes you to view your choices in a harmful way especially if they are not harmful.
Restrictions are not bad. I don’t know about you, but there have been times when I have been told not to do something like eat junk food that has made me feel like everything I know is being snatched away. No and restrictions are not our enemy. Limitations can serve as positive boundaries in our lives. When I eat too much unhealthy food, my stomach does not like it, and it puts me at risk of gastritis and esophagitis due to acid reflux. Our perception of the restriction is what makes it feel negative, but if we view the limitation from a place of caring then we can see it as a positive. My daughter was not a fan of my peanut butter and jelly lunch routine, but she knew there would always be lunch even if it was not something she would have chosen.
Every action we take should have a purpose. I intentionally implemented this change in our home because I desire peace. I did not like the idea of lunch taking away my little girl’s peace, so I made a choice. When we know the heart behind our decisions, it can make it easier to stand firm. I knew that this change was not intended to keep her from never enjoying anything else for lunch, but instead, it was to help us all not put so much weight on this one meal. It also was used as an opportunity to teach appreciation for our lunches out versus expecting to go out to lunch daily.
These lessons reminded me of my nature as a human, the struggle with feeling like I should be doing more, be more, and so on. These thoughts are harmful. They steal and cause me to miss out on my life. So as I am teaching my daughters to embrace the goodness of the ordinary, I too, am embracing.
The picture of the microwave above is an example of me finding joy in something simple and mundane. There is nothing quite like a clean microwave or refrigerator in my opinion. Doesn’t it just sparkle?! I look at it and appreciate the time I took restoring it to a cleanly state while hoping that nothing explodes in it too soon.
I am reminded of Romans 8:28, “ And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” In it Paul reminds of that not just our big accomplishments or our work praised by others will cause God to see, love, or use us, but instead, it is in the mundane, the regular, the unseen work that is purposed by Him that will also be used. As I continue to embrace joy in my ordinary moments in life, parenting, and homeschooling, I am holding onto that all things mean ALL things not just the extraordinary.
How do you embrace your ordinary? What are your family’s favorite simple lunchtime recipes?
Be blessed.