When I truly focus on God's word, I am at peace with the choices I have had to make, but there are days that it really hurts to not have a strong bond with the woman who birthed me. I struggle through the verses that remind us to honor our parents. I do honor, but my flesh wants more than that. I want a deeper relationship. I desire to trust her, and for us to be able to talk about some of things that interest me. So my flesh and spirit fight about the course of action for this particular relationship. My human desire longs while my spirit cries out "it is well, Latonya".
His word tells me to focus on what is right. Not what I think is right or my feelings, but truly what He says is right. Since I don't desire to be obedient only when it is fitting, the hard days come. I know that He is bigger than any of my hard days. I have learned to find comfort in Him and He has offered me His words in Jeremiah 1:5 and Psalm 27:10. I know that He brought me forth for a purpose and that He will always be with me.
I will continue to navigate this path with Christ. I will continue to cling to His word and remember to not grow weary. For I am constantly reminded of Paul's words, "I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us" Romans 8:18.