There was a time when I was closed off from others. I hid my feelings. I denied my feelings. I moved in the shadows. This was a safe approach for me. No one could hurt me if I kept everyone at arm's length. Well, as we all know what you feel your heart and mind with is who you become even if it's not your full intention.
There wasn't an instant moment when I just became open to everyone, but instead it has been a process. This blog has been a huge help in guiding me to be my authentic self. Here I have been able to share in ways that I didn't feel free to do in my every day. Becoming a mother to my two beautiful daughters has also helped me grow a great deal. I knew that I didn't want for them to fear being who they were created to be for the sake of others' comfort.
On Being Available
There's beauty in opening yourself up to others. There's healing in it. There's hope in it.
I think about all of the people who I have met over the years, and I know for certain many of the relationships I have wouldn't came into fruition if I hadn't allowed myself to open to the opportunities. Since I have accepted myself for who I am, I now find it difficult to foster relationships with those who desire to stay surface. It's hard because I know how suffocating it can be. It's hard because when we share our stories, the good and the bad, it gives us power. It frees us from shame.
More than anything, I can take from being open is that the Father can use me more. He uses all parts of me the broken pieces especially. Instead of shame, it because a help for someone who is struggling with something I once struggled with in the past. Instead of competitiveness, there's connection because we share similar goals or desires so now we can pull each other along. Truly, iron sharpens iron.
Not only does He use me more, but I see Him more in others when I allow them into my life even if it is only for a ten minute conversation. As said before becoming available didn't happen overnight, but this year alone a door has open for several relationships that I needed. In the brokenness of my family, He has redeemed quite a few pieces for us to move forward and build stronger bonds based on truth versus fear or hurt.
More than anything now I view transparency as a gift versus something to run away from even though there are times that it can be uncomfortable.
This is one of my favorite songs. It reminds me to open my heart to the Spirit so that He can use me. I hope you all like it just as much as I do
What do you think about being available to others? Is it hard for you to be transparent?
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